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The Bonds Between Siblings
November 22, 2008
I love reconnecting with favorite old movies. This morning when I came down my son-in-law had just put in the movie, “A River Runs Through It,” which I have not seen in many years. As a matter of fact, I don’t think I’ve actually sat and watched the entire movie since I knew who Brad Pitt was. But watching Paul and Norman grow as men and brothers in the vast heaven of Montana, brought back to me the reasons I so enjoyed this movie in the first place. Like “Little Women,” which is easily in my top 5 favorite movies of all time, I cherish this movie for the sibling bonds it portrays. Although these two brothers are as different as night and day, one the gentle, sensible brother, the other adventurous and stupidly fearless, they always come back to each other and the things that shaped their souls. Throughout the movie we watch Paul, the younger brother, as his flamboyant antics command attention and steal the show time after time, often overshadowing his older brother. However in the scene where Norman tells his family he is accepting a teaching position in Chicago, it is obvious that Paul has nothing but the utmost respect for his brother and is deeply disappointed he will be moving away. The fishing scene that follows is nothing short of a tear-jerker, with Norman announcing his plans of marriage and Paul choosing Montana even though he realizes he will be left behind. The time has come for the brothers truly to stand on their own. As the movie goes on we witness the death of Paul and watch helplessly as Norman struggles to deal with the loss of his brother.
As parents we watch our children grow and struggle to become individuals, refereeing their spats and delighting in the things they share. It is our hope that as childhood transitions into adulthood, they will land on their feet and that their relationships with one another will not have been so severely bruised during adolescent squabbles that they will not find their way back to one another. Having had my four girls within a period of five years, they are very close in age. I have always been amazed by both their similarities and their individualities. Each has grown to be a wonderful independent woman, all of whom bring me such immense happiness. But even more than my pride in the delightful women they have become is my pleasure at seeing the bonds they have developed as sisters. I find such comfort in watching the ebb and flow of those relationships, strengthening through both joyous moments and struggles. It is heart-warming to see them pull together as one or the other comes up against life’s challenges, and even more so to see their joy and genuine happiness as they share life’s rewards and victories. There is a bond there that I do not have with my siblings, or even with my sister. Perhaps it is due to the wider span of years that separate us, perhaps other factors that we carried with us as we grew into adults. Whatever the reason, it is just not the same as that which I witness and am privileged to enjoy with my daughters. I am truly blessed.
Posted by Deb